Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Twelve Monkeys
Oh nice to see you so soon.
I have had a most interesting day, I worked all day and then my car was towed and then I got my car back and left all my money at the car pickup place and then I came home and cried while getting riled up to Eminem. It sucks.
Here is a poem about tow truck men:
Tow truck men like to steal my car,
it is not theirs to keep,
I give them money and then they give me my car,
but it was already mine.
I hope noone ever gets their car towed again, and I hope tow truck men find better jobs being nice to people and not ruin people's lives and steal exorbitant money from people's wallets. These are my hopes.
I also hope you have a nice day.
I did not. Goodbye.
I have had a most interesting day, I worked all day and then my car was towed and then I got my car back and left all my money at the car pickup place and then I came home and cried while getting riled up to Eminem. It sucks.
Here is a poem about tow truck men:
Tow truck men like to steal my car,
it is not theirs to keep,
I give them money and then they give me my car,
but it was already mine.
I hope noone ever gets their car towed again, and I hope tow truck men find better jobs being nice to people and not ruin people's lives and steal exorbitant money from people's wallets. These are my hopes.
I also hope you have a nice day.
I did not. Goodbye.
Turn it up to 7-Eleven
Maybe I can do this more regularly. I'm sure thats a thing I can totally do.
Okay so today at work I was nominated 'The King of Singing at Work'. This is a highly acclaimed title one hopes to achieve across any and every walk of life. My talents mostly lie in top 40 hits such as 'e.t.' by Katy Perry, 'Who Says' by Selena Gomez, and other talented and thought provoking singer songwriters... WHO SAYS IM NOT PERFECT. I'm beautiful okay.
My real specialty though is 'Like I Love You' by Justin Timberlake. The classic. Imagine a pitch perfect choir ascending and cascading with the song hitting every note and drowning themselves in the falsettos. My voice is nothing like that. It is more like an angry dolphin squeaking. Or maybe like a whale singing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0fa_QCu2K0&feature=relmfu
Shut up whales.
This is a real thing my real girlfriend said.
Where was I? Oh ya, singing. Its something I do at work to annoy my buddies and for my own personal entertainment. Sometimes I dance too, I also dance like a whale.
I'm an all dancing, all singing machine. The Eighth Wonder of The Subway World In New Zealand For Singing And Dancing And Making Sandwiches. Another title I hold dear. Self nominated.
I might go watch some simpsons now. Might maybe should probably could.
See you soon maybe?
Okay so today at work I was nominated 'The King of Singing at Work'. This is a highly acclaimed title one hopes to achieve across any and every walk of life. My talents mostly lie in top 40 hits such as 'e.t.' by Katy Perry, 'Who Says' by Selena Gomez, and other talented and thought provoking singer songwriters... WHO SAYS IM NOT PERFECT. I'm beautiful okay.
Cos baby, I was born this way.
My real specialty though is 'Like I Love You' by Justin Timberlake. The classic. Imagine a pitch perfect choir ascending and cascading with the song hitting every note and drowning themselves in the falsettos. My voice is nothing like that. It is more like an angry dolphin squeaking. Or maybe like a whale singing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0fa_QCu2K0&feature=relmfu
Shut up whales.
This is a real thing my real girlfriend said.Where was I? Oh ya, singing. Its something I do at work to annoy my buddies and for my own personal entertainment. Sometimes I dance too, I also dance like a whale.
Cos baby, I was born Physeteroidea
I'm an all dancing, all singing machine. The Eighth Wonder of The Subway World In New Zealand For Singing And Dancing And Making Sandwiches. Another title I hold dear. Self nominated.
Singing is the lowest form of communication.
I might go watch some simpsons now. Might maybe should probably could.
See you soon maybe?
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tenuous
heres a poem. why the fuck not.
Theres four of you at a stones throw,
why do i feel alone,
why do i feel so at home.
its well known when you're not seen for months
its a drug induced coma, self induced.
I've never really enjoyed drugs,
but you love me doing them.
I stay at home cos I'm homegrown,
I don't go out driving
cos I can't feel the speed
and I can't feel at home
I'm fully grown now
but I refuse to leave my childhood friends behind.
I'll walk with them when I'm walking alone,
and write them letters which they'll never read.
I remember the way your eyes suffered,
and how they cried when I tried what you tried.
I'd really like to be home.
Everything is coloured lead,
its pretty obvious how white it should be.
But it's not, its tar,
and your shoes are stuck in it.
Lets walk home barefoot.
cu
Nein
Nein posts from me recently with my busy schedule of working late nights, and gaming even later nights. I need to play games before I can write about games right?
Okay. So. Update number one.
I'm in a new highly respected position at subway: shift manager of the eve. I wear cloaks and slink about, pouncing on people with sandwiches when they are least awares like a sandwich dracula. (Note: this doesn't actually happen in the real world). It basically means I make sandwiches in the evening. Beautiful sandwiches mind you, the kind where customers frequently say: 'Oh my! Dearest husband, you must catch me as I am swooning over this sandwich of such gorgeous and golden ratios!' (Note: this definitely happens in the real world; I am a very accomplished sandwich artist). Whilst my artistry is almost always remarked upon, the job itself is a little stale. So I have embarked upon my quest to return to university.
Next semester I am returning to complete my communications degree. Words, sentences and punctuation will aid me in this quest. I shall slay the giant, 8 headed, fire breathing, village pillaging, university dragon who rains lava on those unworthy.
Okay, I exaggerated. Just one head.
Heres hoping I do well!
Update number two.
Many. Many. Many games have been released and played since I last updated. Minecraft has been put on the back burner as I've played through Half Life 2, Half Life 2: Episode 1, Portal 1 several times, Portal 2 several times, a bit of Mass Effect 2, and a smidgeon of Dwarfs!?.
Lets start with the Half Life series. I'm sure a large majority of gamers have played it to some extent but this has been my first introduction to the series. It is definitely worth the praise it receives. A gorgeously scary, evocative, tasteful and complete, package. The single player options of games like Black Ops and Bad Company 2 are lifeless and empty in comparison to Half Life 2's thrilling ride through City 17 and it's surroundings.
The game's depth of storytelling, coupled with the variety of locations, make your personal adventure through the game feel like a real accomplishment, putting you in the shoes of the main character, Gordon Freeman.
Gordon's trip between each map point feels like a real traversal, absorbing scenery surrounding the way. The whole world describes a tale, much in the same vein of 2007's BioShock; prefering to show rather than tell. For example, a section midway through the game explicitly portrays a world gone wrong, using some of the most perturbing imagery in any recent game I've played.
Anyway, go play it. Go. Now. Give Valve money also, they deserve it.
Whiiiiich brings me to my next game, portal 2.
Sooo without sounding like a fanboy, VAlVE R FUCKING AWSOME YOU IDITZ, THAY HAV CREATED DA BEST GAME U HAV EVA SEEN!
ahem. They make good games radda radda radda.
Portal 2 carries on the tradition of being awesome with a sprinkling of more awesomeness. The world is expanded, the characters are broadened and the puzzle mechanics are more fun than ever. Portal 2 takes the world of aperture science introduced in the original portal and magnifies it gorgeously. I don't want to spoil anything about it. at all. So just go play it once you've finished the first one, then listen to the commentary. I highly recommend anyone who even barely likes games to play Portal and Portal 2. Very accessible games for anyone who can afford a thinking cap.
Okay, I'm now off to apply to write for Valve, wish me luck?
Keep on truckin'
Okay. So. Update number one.
I'm in a new highly respected position at subway: shift manager of the eve. I wear cloaks and slink about, pouncing on people with sandwiches when they are least awares like a sandwich dracula. (Note: this doesn't actually happen in the real world). It basically means I make sandwiches in the evening. Beautiful sandwiches mind you, the kind where customers frequently say: 'Oh my! Dearest husband, you must catch me as I am swooning over this sandwich of such gorgeous and golden ratios!' (Note: this definitely happens in the real world; I am a very accomplished sandwich artist). Whilst my artistry is almost always remarked upon, the job itself is a little stale. So I have embarked upon my quest to return to university.
Next semester I am returning to complete my communications degree. Words, sentences and punctuation will aid me in this quest. I shall slay the giant, 8 headed, fire breathing, village pillaging, university dragon who rains lava on those unworthy.
Okay, I exaggerated. Just one head.Heres hoping I do well!
Update number two.
Many. Many. Many games have been released and played since I last updated. Minecraft has been put on the back burner as I've played through Half Life 2, Half Life 2: Episode 1, Portal 1 several times, Portal 2 several times, a bit of Mass Effect 2, and a smidgeon of Dwarfs!?.
Lets start with the Half Life series. I'm sure a large majority of gamers have played it to some extent but this has been my first introduction to the series. It is definitely worth the praise it receives. A gorgeously scary, evocative, tasteful and complete, package. The single player options of games like Black Ops and Bad Company 2 are lifeless and empty in comparison to Half Life 2's thrilling ride through City 17 and it's surroundings.
The game's depth of storytelling, coupled with the variety of locations, make your personal adventure through the game feel like a real accomplishment, putting you in the shoes of the main character, Gordon Freeman.
Gordon's trip between each map point feels like a real traversal, absorbing scenery surrounding the way. The whole world describes a tale, much in the same vein of 2007's BioShock; prefering to show rather than tell. For example, a section midway through the game explicitly portrays a world gone wrong, using some of the most perturbing imagery in any recent game I've played.
Hint: Sup
Anyway, go play it. Go. Now. Give Valve money also, they deserve it.
Whiiiiich brings me to my next game, portal 2.
Sooo without sounding like a fanboy, VAlVE R FUCKING AWSOME YOU IDITZ, THAY HAV CREATED DA BEST GAME U HAV EVA SEEN!
ahem. They make good games radda radda radda.
Portal 2 carries on the tradition of being awesome with a sprinkling of more awesomeness. The world is expanded, the characters are broadened and the puzzle mechanics are more fun than ever. Portal 2 takes the world of aperture science introduced in the original portal and magnifies it gorgeously. I don't want to spoil anything about it. at all. So just go play it once you've finished the first one, then listen to the commentary. I highly recommend anyone who even barely likes games to play Portal and Portal 2. Very accessible games for anyone who can afford a thinking cap.
Okay, I'm now off to apply to write for Valve, wish me luck?
Keep on truckin'
Monday, October 18, 2010
VIII
Hi!
First off, it's been a while. Second off, I'm changing things up on here. Thingz are going to get krazy yo. Well not really, I'm just going to add more things about my current job at whatever time I'm writing. The trials and tribulations of my rise from shift manager at Subway to CEO of Earth need to be documented and this is my stage to do so.
DON'T WORRY! There will still be occasional poems and videos and magazine covers for my adoring fans. and adore you will.
Anyway, anybody heard of Minecraft here? If not, it's www.minecraft.net for all you who don't .. have .. google ...
Uh. Well basically it's a giant randomly generated game made of giant randomly generated pixels. As the title indicates, you mine and craft. A lot. Monsters have haphazard spawn points throughout the map and it is your job to survive and keep the evil at bay. This is achieved through the creation of houses and castles and traps and moats and other titillating buildings. Making your first fort is one of the freshest, funnest (not a word) experiences in a long time, and it looks good as you do it.
As appetising as pixel graphics from the 90s sound, you'd be surprised how sexy this game actually is. The 3D pixel led graphics are a nice change from the NEXT GEN FANTASTICAMO whizz bangs of 2010, and they work surprisingly well with the gameplay. After playing for a short while you realise it couldn't work any other way.
Unfortunately, Minecraft is still in Alpha development stage, but even now I'm hard pressed to find a game more addictive, scary and cuddly at the same time. Every dog and their mothers are covering this game at the moment so if it interests you I beg you to read up about it. Well worth your time.
Rating - definite buy
Minecraft section over, job section COMMENCE!
When I first started working at subway I quickly moved up the ranks from sandwhich artist to shift manager. Despite the huge increase in pay of ONE DOLLAR(!!!) as a shift manager, I kind of miss the 'artist' part of my title. Making sandwhiches look beautiful was a fun way to pass the time, and now things are so different. My job allocations include wearing reading glasses, sifting through piles of money and telling people off for breathing too loudly. It's quite a dissimilar experience I must say.
Subway is my current livelihood, but to be honest I can't tell if subway or minecraft is more worth my time; One lets me eat, the other lets me eat VIRTUALLY! (I'm also a skilled carpenter in one of them, guess which).
Aight enough of this "writing" business, I'm off to mine mines, and lose money at poker. Have a grand old time all.
Whatchu' lookin' at?
First off, it's been a while. Second off, I'm changing things up on here. Thingz are going to get krazy yo. Well not really, I'm just going to add more things about my current job at whatever time I'm writing. The trials and tribulations of my rise from shift manager at Subway to CEO of Earth need to be documented and this is my stage to do so.
DON'T WORRY! There will still be occasional poems and videos and magazine covers for my adoring fans. and adore you will.
Anyway, anybody heard of Minecraft here? If not, it's www.minecraft.net for all you who don't .. have .. google ...
Uh. Well basically it's a giant randomly generated game made of giant randomly generated pixels. As the title indicates, you mine and craft. A lot. Monsters have haphazard spawn points throughout the map and it is your job to survive and keep the evil at bay. This is achieved through the creation of houses and castles and traps and moats and other titillating buildings. Making your first fort is one of the freshest, funnest (not a word) experiences in a long time, and it looks good as you do it.
As appetising as pixel graphics from the 90s sound, you'd be surprised how sexy this game actually is. The 3D pixel led graphics are a nice change from the NEXT GEN FANTASTICAMO whizz bangs of 2010, and they work surprisingly well with the gameplay. After playing for a short while you realise it couldn't work any other way.
Unfortunately, Minecraft is still in Alpha development stage, but even now I'm hard pressed to find a game more addictive, scary and cuddly at the same time. Every dog and their mothers are covering this game at the moment so if it interests you I beg you to read up about it. Well worth your time.
Rating - definite buy
Minecraft section over, job section COMMENCE!
When I first started working at subway I quickly moved up the ranks from sandwhich artist to shift manager. Despite the huge increase in pay of ONE DOLLAR(!!!) as a shift manager, I kind of miss the 'artist' part of my title. Making sandwhiches look beautiful was a fun way to pass the time, and now things are so different. My job allocations include wearing reading glasses, sifting through piles of money and telling people off for breathing too loudly. It's quite a dissimilar experience I must say.
Subway is my current livelihood, but to be honest I can't tell if subway or minecraft is more worth my time; One lets me eat, the other lets me eat VIRTUALLY! (I'm also a skilled carpenter in one of them, guess which).
Aight enough of this "writing" business, I'm off to mine mines, and lose money at poker. Have a grand old time all.
Whatchu' lookin' at?
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